Welcomed, requested advice is one thing. Unsolicited advice is another.
Being a first time mom is hard enough. Your entire life has been flipped upside down, and the needs of your child now come before needs of your own. You’re getting to know what your baby likes and doesn’t like. You’re carving out a routine that works for you both.
The last thing you need is to be told you’re doing it wrong.
And guess what? Chances are, you’re not. Because you are the expert on your own child.
Sure, you can pivot if something isn’t working, and that’s your choice.
But.
There’s one phrase every mom is guaranteed to hear some variation of within the first year of her child’s life:
“I’ve had a child before, I know what I’m doing.”
Oh. My. Gosh. 😡
Just because they’ve raised a child before does not make them the expert on your child.
It also does not give them the right to disregard your wishes for your child.
Every child is different.
You are the expert on you own child.
There are MANY different ways to parent a child. Different ways to feed, entertain, teach, discipline, soothe, encourage, love, and support a child.
Just because the unsolicited-advice-giver’s child “turned out okay” doesn’t make it the only way to successfully raise a good human in a loving home.
We (new moms) have enough to worry about, and we don’t have time for “being judged by others” to make it on that list.
So if someone is telling you you’re doing it wrong, remember to take their unsolicited advice with a grain of salt. Or don’t even take it at all. 🤷♀️ A single method of parenting isn’t one size fits all.
And if you must respond, tell them something along the lines of:
“I respect your decision as a parent for doing it that way. I am choosing differently for my child.”
or
“How you raised your child was your choice. How I raise my child is my choice.”
And just leave it at that.
Remember, Momma. You DO know what you’re doing. You got this. 💖
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